Laer 'Lamren

Atwe's picture
Submitted by Atwe on Fri, 2006-05-12 11:23.

... that is, an attempt at an alliterative verse in NeoSindarin. Enjoy...


Laiss bo gelaidh laeb, laer lacha
Gwael nalla vi gwelu, glamor lâf in eryd
Amdir eria vi elei vín, sui elloth vi eryn
Maelui pân i merith, milui i thlyss 'lyss
i bathrar i barth. Brûn si
Gost vín, i gaul gwannants, guruth drega --
Aerlinn rîb erin ael, ar egleria i Chîr.

Fresh are the leaves on the trees, the summer is in flame
A gull cries in the air, echo licks the mountains
Hope rises in our dreams, like a flower in the woods
Lustful are all the feasts, sweet the whispers
that fill the meadow. Old and worn is
Our fear, the burden has passed, death flees --
Hymn floats over the lake, to praise the Lord.


Submitted by Aran on Fri, 2006-05-12 18:46.

>gwannant

Perhaps rather _gwannas_ because it's intransitive.

>egleria i Chîr
>to praise the Lord

Why not _egleriad_?; otherwise it could be the Lord who praises..

Submitted by Atwe on Fri, 2006-05-12 18:56.

Could be egleriad, yes. Or maybe _egleria e i Chîr_.

Thanks for the comments!

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my blog: footprints

Submitted by cerebrum on Fri, 2006-05-12 19:00.

Or ar egleria i Chîr.

Submitted by cerebrum on Fri, 2006-05-12 14:01.

Just two remarks:

Atwe wrote:
Laiss bo gelaidh laeb

To my mind the plural form of lass should be rather lais, avoiding the too long syllable.

Atwe wrote:
milui i thlyss

'the whispers' will be i ’lyss

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