Swan

Submitted by Ethuilbereth on Wed, 2005-08-10 17:33.

Here is a little poem about a swan, or about children growing up, or about the Winged Crown...

Alph

Alph 'lân revia,
Peliol idh rovail în.
Dan, i Alph 'lân
athelitha?
Pen nalla:
“Avo vado
dorthad
e mbar lîn
na chaered!�

Alph 'lân revia.
Boe reviad na liniath
vi aduial na hiriath.
Pen nalla:
“Dartho, dartho,
Alph lossen!�
Nelliel, rostant:
“Ú-gên e nin,
Ú-lathrada nin.�
Eriol nínim
loda vi 'waew lim.

And here is the English translation (translating thoughts, not literal translation):
Swan

A white swan is flying,
streching his wings.
But will the white swan
return?
Someone cries:
"Do not go
to live
far from home
in the distance!"

A white swan is flying.
He must wander to pools
In twilight toward rivers.
Someone cries:
"Wait! Wait!
Snowy Swan!"
Then she whispers:
"He does not see me.
He does not hear me."
A single snowflake
Floats in the clear wind.

I have used *lathrada for 'hear'.
I do not know if I can put _eriol_ before _nínim_ to have a rhyme... It is, after all, a poem.

Amanda

login or register to post comments | previous forum topic | next forum topic | printer friendly version | 809 reads
( categories: NeoSindarin - original texts | Sindarin )
wouldn't na + rhoss yield na
Submitted by Atwe on Fri, 2005-08-12 06:43.

wouldn't na + rhoss yield na thross?

login or register to post comments
lenition of rh, lh
Submitted by Aran on Fri, 2005-08-12 15:42.

In fact we do not know how _rh_ and _lh_ would be lenited. One proposal is _thr_ and _thl_, according to the rejected Noldorin forms, the other is simply their voicing to _'r_, _'l_, like all the other voiceless consonants and like I believe it is done in Welsh.
The only example is _amrûn_ 'east' (

login or register to post comments
---or, for that matter,
Submitted by Atwe on Fri, 2005-08-12 17:20.

---or, for that matter, based on Q _lussa-_ one could use S *rosta- *losta-

login or register to post comments
I use *losta- for 'to
Submitted by Ethuilbereth on Thu, 2005-08-18 17:15.

I use *losta- for 'to sleep', wouldn't want them to clash... *rosta- might work.

login or register to post comments
I have no proof, but I think
Submitted by Atwe on Wed, 2005-08-10 18:16.

I have no proof, but I think after *boe I would use a gerund: *boe reviad

login or register to post comments
Thanks. I will edit this.
Submitted by Ethuilbereth on Wed, 2005-08-10 18:51.

Thanks. I will edit this.

login or register to post comments
some thoughts
Submitted by cerebrum on Wed, 2005-08-10 18:09.

’fly’ is revia-, not renia-
idh (not i) rovail în (cf. Caradhras --> caran + rass)
instead of an northad I would write just dorthad
there is an attested word for ’snowy’, it’s lossen
I would use the third person pronouns, e.g. ú-gên e nin

login or register to post comments
cerebrum wrote:’fly’ is
Submitted by Ethuilbereth on Wed, 2005-08-10 18:50.

cerebrum wrote:
’fly’ is revia-, not renia-

Etym. entry RAM-:
N rhenio [...] fly, sail; wander

cerebrum wrote:
I would use the third person pronouns, e.g. ú-gên e nin

Why? Do you think it ambiguous to say ú-gên nin?

Thank you. I will use the rest.

login or register to post comments
'fly'
Submitted by Ninniach on Wed, 2005-08-10 19:29.

Erm... N rhenio from RAM- as 'to fly' must be indeed a misreading, there is no phonological reason for 'm' shifting to 'n', moreover, cf. GLAM-, NDAM-, TAM-

login or register to post comments
Re: cerebrum wrote:’fly’ is
Submitted by cerebrum on Wed, 2005-08-10 19:08.

Ethuilbereth wrote:
Etym. entry RAM-:
N rhenio [...] fly, sail; wander

As far as I know rhenio in etym is a misreading of rhevio.

Ethuilbereth wrote:
Do you think it ambiguous to say ú-gên nin?

We have Ar e aníra ennas suilannad mhellyn în phain: edregol e aníra tírad i Cherdir Perhael in King's Letter.

login or register to post comments
You have succeeded in
Submitted by Ethuilbereth on Wed, 2005-08-10 20:50.

You have succeeded in getting that through my head (finally). I will change to revia-:)

cerebrum wrote:
We have Ar e aníra ennas suilannad mhellyn în phain: edregol e aníra tírad i Cherdir Perhael in King's Letter.

Yes, but I wanted to not have too many syllables in either line. I also did not think it would look good to put e for one but not for the other. Perhaps I could put (for the two lines)

“Ú-gên e nin,
Ú-lathrada nin.�

That would even the two lines out a bit, while also giving them a subject. What do you think?

Or maybe the subject should come first, but then maybe I'm thinking too much in English again...

login or register to post comments
Re: You have succeeded in
Submitted by cerebrum on Thu, 2005-08-11 15:23.

And what about “Ú-lathrada, ú-gên e nin.�?

login or register to post comments
I wanted them to rhyme...
Submitted by Ethuilbereth on Thu, 2005-08-18 16:45.

I wanted them to rhyme...

login or register to post comments

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.