Turin and Glorund the Dragon - First Attempt

Submitted by Andrew Higgins on Wed, 2007-06-13 11:00.

Here is my first attempt at translating Tolkien's epic Lay of Turin (Book 3 History of Middle Earth) into classical Sindarin. Be gentle with me!!

Turin ion Hurin a Glorund i amlug

Ai! I amlug vallen en-Balan udun
i fuin en-eryn ardhon si pellen
in naeth Edain a nir in Edhil
thinniel hethu dad vaid glad
si naro a i eneth annid
en-Niniel naer a i eneth annur
en-Durin ion Thalion orthornen na amarth

hethu - faint(ly) - how would one form the adverb?

Turin son of Hurin and Glorund the Dragon

Lo! the golden dragon of the God of Hell
the gloom of the woods of the world now gone
the woes of man and weeping of Elves
fading faintly down forest pathways
is now to tell and the name most tearful
of Niniel the sorrowful and the name most sad
of Thalion's son Turin o'erthrown by fate.

Stay tuned for next installment!!

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some corrections
Submitted by cerebrum on Thu, 2007-06-14 16:59.

Some corrections:

1. line: i amlug vallen e-Balan, not en-Balan (listen to your ears, -nb- sounds bad and it breaks the rhythm. ;-P Try to read it loudly: 'i amlug vallen e-Balan udûn'. Can you feel the rhythm? Beautiful. Isn't it? :-D)
2. line: i fuin in-eryn (you have 'woods', not 'wood' in the original text, and the plural form of the genitival article is in.)
3. line: i naeth in Edain, not in naeth Edain (be consistent with the usage of the genitival article)
6. and 7. lines: Niniel and Turin are proper names, so you shouldn't use the genitival article in this case.

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Corrections
Submitted by Andrew Higgins on Thu, 2007-06-14 17:25.

Cerebrum

Thanks for these - very helpful and I will incorporate. I used _eryn_ for woods based on UT 436. Can not find a plural for the word. Any help here much appreciated!

See my latest musings on Tolkien's lanaguages and other related materials at http://wotanselvishmusings.blogspot.com

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Re: Corrections
Submitted by cerebrum on Thu, 2007-06-14 17:42.

Andrew Higgins wrote:
Cerebrum

Thanks for these - very helpful and I will incorporate. I used _eryn_ for woods based on UT 436. Can not find a plural for the word. Any help here much appreciated!

See my latest musings on Tolkien's lanaguages and other related materials at http://wotanselvishmusings.blogspot.com

eryn is quite OK, you can use it as a plural noun, but in genitival phrases the plural article in is normally used before a plural noun, not the genitival article e(n).

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a couple
Submitted by Atwe on Thu, 2007-06-14 11:24.

Just randomly:

- Aglardh can cope fine with accented characters, feel free to use them

"thinniel hethu dad vaid glad"

I am unsure about hethu, dad (the latter sounds like an Anglicism but that maybe is Not A Bad Thing this time), and the missing genitive particle before glad. You are also quite inconsistent in your usage of en/in or pure word order to denote possession - e.g. line 3 should be either/or, IMHO.

---

sí tere hyelle ar nullave cenilve

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Turin Comments
Submitted by Andrew Higgins on Thu, 2007-06-14 17:28.

Atwe

Thanks for feebback = stil feeling my way about word order. Just read up on some of Thorsten Renks's online documents about and will keep this in mind. _Hethu_ yes agonized over this one - still not sure how to make a _ly_ adverb - any help here much appreciated.

Thanks, Andy

See my latest musings on Tolkien's lanaguages and other related materials at http://wotanselvishmusings.blogspot.com

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