Thanks for comments - did some more work on this first part and now have as follows:

Turin ion Hurin a Glorund i amlug

Alae! I amlug vallen e-Balan udun
i vaur en-eryn ardhon si pellen
i naeth Edain a nir in Edhil
thinniel hethu dad vaid glad
si naro ah i eneth annid
Niniel naer ah i eneth annur
Turin ion Thalion orthornen na amarth.
Nae! Hurin Thalion vi i hyth en auth orthornen
ir in gwaith fainhemmin in Edhelrim
gwathannen pain an gurth na dhelos uanui Delu-Morgoth
Parth dan esta Nirnaeth Arnediad estar aen na'waith
Ennas i chin in edain, erain a maethor, dregenner
u-vaethanner dan hain gwerianner na ugerth gwaith in Edhelrim
unan adan Thalion-Erithamrod
a conin din beren

First of all I would like to suggest you keep the instalments separately, e.g. don't merge the amended ones with the new ones. This way we can go back to whichever instalment and comment them separately without having to go through the whole text again.

My comments on the first instalment (alas, I have to take them one by one, there's also work to do):
- Ai: my guess would be that Lo! here has the meaning of Behold! rather than alas, so I would suggest using alae as in "Alae! Ered en Echoriath, ered e·mbar nín!". Having said that, ai, nae can be used as well where appropriate.
- fuin: I like maur better, it sounds more "gloomy" to my ears:)
- eryn: Cerebrum, Dragonflame suggests that it is a plural noun used as a singular, so it might be en-eryn after all - I have to think about this;
- pellenin: it shoud remain sg. because it is referring to ardhon and not eryn

To be continued, a big pile of documents just landed on my desk...

1. line: vi hyth en-auth (it is advisable to use the genitival article before common names)
2. line: *fainhemmin, not *fainchemmin, cf. Duinhir
2. line: in-Edhelrim (edhelrim is a plural noun)
3. line: noner???
3. line: an gurth ('g' in gurth represents a former nasalised stop 'ñg', so the nasal-mutated form of this sound will be 'g', not 'ng', cf. Annon-in-Gelydh)
3. line: I would rather translate 'by the dread hate ... of Delu-Morgoth' as na dhelos uanui Delu-Morgoth
4. line: my suggestion instead of esta aen na i'waith esta Nirnaeth Arnediad is Nirnaeth Arnediad estar aen (or just estannen) na ‘waith
5. line: i chîn in-edain (you have to use the genitival article before common names)
5. line: dreganner, not dregennir
6. and 7. lines: gwerianner hain (I think it is necessary to use the pronoun hain 'they' here) and in-Edhelrim again; morover, pay attention to the word order; the subject (hain) and the verb (gwerianner) come first, and the object (in gwaith in-Edhelrim) follows them (in gwaith in-Edhelrim ... gwerianner hain is easily misunderstood, it can mean 'the folk of the Elves ... betrayed them').
8. line: what is to???

"Thane' comes from OE _Þegn_, see thane. From the gloss given I think that in Eldarin the root KAN- comes closest, especially Qe cáno. The S cognate _caun_ maybe?

---

sí tere hyelle ar nullave cenilve

The only change I can think of at the moment is that (like I said on your blog) _u-dhan_ would become _u-nan_ because _dan_ comes from a root beginning in ND. ;)

Oh, and as for accents, if you don't know the alt codes, you can copy-paste them from this link: http://www.coloryourprofyle.com/phade/alt.html

Additionally, if you need ones with macrons (or Y with circumflex), I find this page helpful: http://www.issociate.de/idndetails.php

Cheers!

Well, I'm not an expert in Sindarin, but if I'm not wrong the conjunction _a_ becomes _ah_ before vowels...

Cheers!